The SF Bay Area, where the streets are paved with single young men

San Francisco Bay Area, singles central
San Francisco Bay Area, singles central

Remember that time I was blasting a startup for shipping single women from NYC to San Francisco? And about how I had all of this cool data that showed that there were actually more single men in New York, and they were probably just hiding indoors playing video games?

And that other time I showed how I was completely kind of horribly somewhat wrong, and that Manhattan is nothing but an island-nation of nothing but women? Now it’s time to take a look at the other half of the puzzle: the ratio of single men to single women in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Note: This is all fiercely heteronormative, and I’m sorry about that, but such is the data bestowed by the US Census Bureau. If you’d like to see a hilarious side effect of this, scroll down to the last image. Additionally, “single” according to the Census means anyone who isn’t married, so even long-term relationships don’t come into the picture at all.

Please, have at this map. It’s singles by age and zip code in the SF Bay Area. Use the age range sliders to get it to an area that’s meaningful to you, I’ve started it off at 20-34.

Shed enough tears yet? Let’s take a closer look at SF proper.

The streets of San Francisco are paved with men

Singles ratios for ages 20-34: The streets of San Francisco are paved with men

Ooookay, that’s a lot of single men. Very much the opposite of what we found about New York, where the core of Manhattan was primarily single women. And yes, this map doesn’t account for sexuality at all, so there are plenty of men in those blue zones with zero interest in women.

The only outpost with an excess of single women in San Francisco is Pacific Heights, although if you believed Wikipedia’s list of Notable Residents it’d be 80% male (cough). SF’s Chinatown, which the racial dot map and Wikipedia point to as to the upper right of the word “San Francisco,” is actually far more gender-neutral than similar immigrant communities we found in NYC.

If we zoom out, things even out a bit.

SF and Oakland

Singles ratios for ages 20-34: SF and Oakland

Right over the bay, Oakland mixes it up a bit while Berkeley is a nice little gender melting pot. Again, race might play an issue here – last time we found that African-American communities seemed to have a higher percentage of single women, and the splits might be helped along by racial divides (Oakland [female] is more black, while Alameda [male] is more white/Asian). It doesn’t line up as much on the east side, though, so take that with a grain of salt.

Also! Every time I talk about race, just refer to this incredible map that I didn’t make.

We can zoom out a bit further to include the Bay in its complete glory:

Bay area singles, ages 20-34

Full Bay Area singles, ages 20-34

I don’t know what to say except the Bay Area is full of single men. What can we do about it? Just move Manhattan into the middle of the Bay? I, sadly, don’t have answers for you.

Sunnyvale, San Jose and Mountain View come up about even between single men and single women, while San Mateo is piles upon piles of single men and Fremont looks as blue as a perfect day at the seashore.

I know absolutely nothing about the West Coast, so I’m going to need your help with my analysis. Comment below, email or tweet at me to let me know your incredibly astute (I’m certain of it!) observations.

What I lack in modern-day knowledge, though, I made up for in old maps. Here’s a gender-balance map from a 1890 Census Atlas:

Gender ratio across the USA, 1890

Gender ratio across the USA, 1890. Buy it at Vintage Visualizations!

Pink is women in excess, the ruddy, brutish reddish-brown is extra men. Like I said with the NYC map, Kipling nailed it: East is East, and West is West, and never the twain shall meet.

If you’re straight, single, and looking for love, my best advice might just be to go buy a plane ticket.

Or, wait it out! If you read up on the age issues on my original singles map, you’d find that once all the men get old and die off, it’s nothing but single women all across America.

A screenshot from my original singles map, singles aged 50-64

A screenshot from my original singles map, singles aged 50-64

This was the issue that caused the original trouble, though: when you organize things at the level of an entire city (and its surrounding suburbs), you miss out on the nuance that breaks the heart of every single woman in New York City.

Playing around with the age ranges for the Bay Area, I set it to 50-64 and found a map that just plain made me giggle.

SF, land of unmarried old dudes

Singles ratios, ages 50-64. Never change, San Francisco

While the rest of the world has decayed into a land of unmarried, widowed women, San Francisco stays forever true. This is one instance where you can probably see the Castro from space.

Tomorrow’s treat: a nationwide singles map, hop on our newsletter to be sure you don’t miss it!

45 Comments

  • Sheryl says:

    Wow. This is extremely informative. Thank you ! As a NY based single woman I can attest that is certainly seems as though there is a man shortage!
    A move to San Francisco area may be in my future!

  • Lauren says:

    Unfortunately we ladies in the Bay Area have a saying about the straight male dating pool: “The odds are good, but the goods are odd.”

    • Mike in SF says:

      @Lauren: yes, San Francisco is a good dating scene for bookworm types and quirky people in general. If you have more of a superficial fashionista/cheerleader/queen bee type personality, then you won’t like most of the guys in SF and they won’t like you (at least not for anything long term). Reminds me of a saying my friends and I have about sorority girls: “You can take the girl out of the sorority but you can’t take the sorority out of the girl.”

      • Leave Reply says:

        You nailed it Mike the guys in the bay area are looking for bookworms they can have in depth conversations with. If only there were fewer models walking the streets so we can all find those deep women to bond with. No guy in his right mind would pick what’s in SF over what’s in NY, LA, Austin or pretty much any city on the face of this earth.

        • Paul from SF now in LA says:

          The women in SF are atrocious. They are either super career driven and looking for somebody that makes them look good by having tech/old money clout or they are daddy’s girls. In both regards, let’s call them entitled. If you are a guy, unless you are an elite or delusional you will not be happy. And if you work your way to elite status from nothing you will still not be happy as you will find the accompanying substance (both man and woman) lacking in human decency.

        • d says:

          LOL! Couldn’t agree more with the guy above. As single SF man, I am so frustrated with all the gorgeous models here. If only the masses of supermodels could take their stunning looks and bodies. And take it somewhere else. Then we could have our homely bookworms back. Fewer prom queens. More math decathlon queens. What a breath of fresh air that would be,.

    • shit factor says:

      Thank you! I was born here, but seriously what is up with the men, so far I’ve been abducted, beaten, found an actual anarchist, a man who screamed that the taxi driver was a terrorist, cheaters, men who tried to sell drugs at my house and sever hippies with weird rules who are meat fascists and hate fashion actually that goes for men and women.

      • shit factor says:

        also men who had a male sex orgy then tried to rape me, been raped in the ass atleast 3 times in Berkeley

        • shit factor says:

          Been beaten up by my ex fiance multiple times and he tried to throw me out a window, I am weird and quirky certainly no cheer leader I read philosophy, make movies, and shit I’ve met nicer guys in LA who are more down to earth and actually appreciate creativity. Here there are a bunch of people who are fake but try to act like they are real and down to earth, plus the way me and my friends are treated they want you to come to them, they won’t take you out but surely fuck you, and that superficial shit is real they will cheat on you with a prettier girl so if you think this place is genuine, fuck that, you don’t know the bay

  • Lauren says:

    I grew up in the Bay Area and live in SF. I am 38 and have never been asked out on a date. I’ve managed to convince a few guys to go out with me online. I think I’m about average looking and I have an advanced degree so I don’t think it’s me… I literally go for months at a time without seeing a single guy my age. Where are they all hiding?

    • Moved out of SF says:

      @Lauren: Uh there are a metric ton of gentlemen in the peninsula and 580/680 area. I guess you are extremely picky or aren’t putting yourself out there? I commute from Danville to Palo Alto, and that whole stretch is just a sausage party, especially in Dublin/Pleasanton/Livermore.

  • S says:

    I’m a youngish guy who moved to the Bay Area from NYC. I don’t think I’ve seen as many young really good looking guys in a city as I have in SF. It’s like an Abercrombie casting call. Also the landed gentry here seem to have a ton of money. That said, it can be a great place for single ladies, but lousy place for single guys (unless you’re a gay). Except for a few parts of the city, women here don’t really seem to care so much about their looks, but the ones that do get a lot of male attention. Unless I make my first million in the next 6 months, I’ll be getting out of here ASAP. NYC was more affordable.

  • David F says:

    Your geometry file (sf-zcta5.topojson) seems to be missing a bunch of geometry data for many Bay Area ZIP codes, especially in Santa Clara county, so your map is not showing any data for most of Silicon Valley — San Jose, Sunnyvale, Santa Clara, Cupertino, Campbell, Los Gatos, Mountain View, and Palo Alto.

  • Sarah says:

    I think that a lot of the gender unbalance in the Bay Area has to do with the Tech industry. With a long history of discrimination of women in STEM fields, most high-paying tech jobs go to men who come from all over the world to work in Silicon Valley and the rest of the Bay Area.

    http://www.fastcoexist.com/3047691/silicon-valleys-gender-balance-woes-start-before-people-are-even-hired
    http://betanews.com/2015/05/25/gender-equality-remains-a-silicon-valley-sore-spot/
    http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2015/mar/08/sexism-silicon-valley-women

  • Attila says:

    I’m an outgoing man. So far I could not find a single field where I can go and there is reasonable ratio of the two sex in the bay area. San Jose, Cambpell, MV, Milpitas is the worst. San Francisco is better.
    Nightclubs are terrible, just go in and count the reasonably dressed and looking men and women. The ratio is usually 10 girls to 100 guys. (I’m not exaggerating). Dance lessons, maybe 8 girls to 10 guys, Safeway, same like 40-60%.
    Despite of this I always have a new girlfriend in every 6 months maybe, so I cant complaint.
    The problem with this bad ratio that it messes up the attitude.
    Girls attitude changes that they know they can do whatever the f#k they want to do and men will still pile up in front of their legs.
    Guys attitude changes so they become little puppies and they just do everything. I have seen the most desperate guys in the bay area that I`ve seen in my life and I lived in few countries.

  • DG says:

    I’m a decently successful, physically fit, highly social and at least okay-looking SF guy (attorney / mid-30s). Have a ton of single friends here (girls & guys). And know the SF dating scene very well.

    Like climate change, many have long denied our city’s inconvenient truth . Unequivocally, the SF dating pool is tilted in women’s favor. Regardless of how you feel about it – articles like these are finally confirming what we locals already knew.

    This is not to rag on SF women. To be clear, SF women are – almost without exception – highly educated, sharp, successful and doing interesting stuff. No doubt. The problem is the imbalance severely reduces their competition. In many ways they are similar to my NYC male friends (who have veritable harems of women at their disposal). Faced with an abundance of options and underwhelming competition, they tend to be more dismissive of the men they meet and care less about their own appearance.

    My own anecdotal observations –

    – Coffee Meets Bagel test. After switching my app location from SF to NYC I had 64 interested women in 3-4 days (folks, this is a 1-a-day app!). In SF, this would take me 3-4 months.

    – Tinder test. In SF I don’t even use Tinder, which yields (maybe), 2 matches a week. Bad matches at that. In Washington, DC, I reinstalled it just for fun and was blowing up like a prom queen. A match every 20-30 min. Good matches, too.

    – In LA, I have 2-3x as many dating options as I do here even though I spend just a fraction of my time there. In NYC, there are more dating options than you can even pursue.

    – Female friends here actually joke about the ridiculously over-the-top dates they are able to get (how many Teslas can I get picked up in this week, they ask). The same girls will fully admit that they were basically average looking in whatever town they last lived in, and this only happens here.

    – More than once, an NYC girl visiting SF has remarked to me how much better and fitter the guys in SF look.

    – More than once, an NYC girl visiting SF has remarked to me how much better the girls in NYC look comparatively and how much more of an effort they put into their fashion and appearance.

  • Eric says:

    The girls in SF are average at best. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of beautiful women but they are like that IG vixen, unicorns you can only look at from afar. The barriers to entry are high here. It’s due to the nature of living in the Bay Area. If you are educated, live in the City, work out, and travel, then you are average.

    I can echo DG’s sentiments above. I get matches, I go on dates. But whenever I travel, it’s like night and day. It’s almost like I have to put in 0 effort to meet girls in other cities, it’s almost laughable if it wasn’t so tragic that eventually I’d have to return back to the SF Bay Area.

  • DG says:

    PS – all this talk of poor ratios, singledom and musical chairs be a real downer at times. But I’d like to add a positive note here.

    If you can afford to live in SF or NYC, you can afford to travel. And living in a tough dating market is actually good for you. It makes you stronger.

    Competition is healthy. It forces us to be disciplined. As Eric mentions above. In SF – being a successful, physically fit, well-traveled and interesting guy doesn’t do much for you. It makes you ‘average’. Meeting the bare minimum requirements for even getting a date in the first place. Because there is so much male competition, SF men tend to work harder to get dates. We spend more time exercising. We tend to be successful. We’re nicer and tend to be more considerate (though not always).

    Similarly, the girls in NYC work hard too. They aren’t all beautiful by mistake. In a tough dating market, they often focus (laser-like) on their fitness, fashion and appearance. They have better attitudes (though not always). And tend to be more appreciative when they finally do meet a guy who is decent.

    So what’s the takeaway? Sure, it’s easy to despair in a tough dating market. It’s tough. It beats you down. But in these difficult places, you’re being disciplined. Think back to that wonderful movie, Rocky IV. Do you remember that scene, where Sylvester Stallone is carrying logs through the Siberian tundra? Pulling a sled through deep snow? That’s you SF man! (And NYC woman)! You’re training in the toughest conditions. Getting fit. So you can finally beat the Russian giant. Ivan Drago! Ok, not really.

    But you get the point. If you just travel to a better dating location, one with a better ratio, those difficult days spent in a tough dating market will pay dividends. Trust me.

    At this very moment, I am typing to you from a temporary apt in Manhattan. Within 24 hours of arriving here I met a beautiful and wonderful girl who lives in the city. So far we have spent the entire week together. And I ditched all my dating apps. It was great, and liberating. And such a breath of fresh air to finally be with someone I am genuinely excited about. What a difference a plane flight makes.

    While here I couldn’t help but think about these two, very imbalanced places. SF with its too many men. NYC with its too many women. If we could somehow just merge them together, I think it would make the world a better place. Until then, get out there and travel.

  • Torstein Org says:

    The solution here is Republic of SF must sign the agreement with the Republic of NY that each month they exchange 10 000 single men and women to each others to correct the natural balance. 1 million single women sufferring in the NY lacking with mens warmth and sexual intercourse pressures on their bodies is unimaginable attrocity against humanity plus the nature.

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  • Clamuel L Jackson says:

    SF is the home of the 49ers
    Women who are 4’s who walk around thinking they’re 9’s
    and a bunch of swagless tech dorks

    trash ass city

  • Erica says:

    I have lived in San Jose, Cupertino, and SF the the past 17 years. I have dated, loved, lost, and still am hopeful that the “one” is out there.
    I was not born in CA. I have an advanced degree, workout/yoga/hike/bike/snowboard, am fairly outgoing, and adventurous, however I don’t have sex on the first, or second, or even third date. I look for quality not quantity and I want to get to know your heart, what you do to make the world a better place, whats important to you, and what makes you happy, not your bank account, car, or job title. I know standards of getting to know a person mind versus superficial stats is asking a lot….so much I have not found it yet as a 38 year old woman in the bay area.
    I am hopeful but a realist the dating market replicates the technology industry: bigger, better, faster, ditch the old, and get the new as fast as you can, and know a something better will be out again soon. Courting seems to have transformed into incessant texting, and flowers have taken a back seat to the instantaneous emoji. A phone call is deemed as burdensome versus an opportunity to get to know someone. Day in and out we make decisions to end a relationship based on a text when that person if you had only invested some of your time could have a pay off of a lifetime partner.
    Integrating someone into a persons life is connecting on Facebook, LinkedIn, and sometimes a happy hour versus meeting a persons friends, family, learning what food they like, favorite music, and how they enjoy spending their time. Then there is the typical game of poker I want to see your cards of information, dating status, go to your house, see your car, meet your friends but share none of my own and let you guess about any and everything until you deem the game to be over.
    In my very humble opinion, the “art” of dating is similar to the world of finance, it is an investment, what you put in is what you get out. A date is an investment of time, similarly if you don’t purchase any stock in the market you will never be able to watch it grow, top out, or crash. I am a hold out for the simple and basic, a friend, companion, genuine, trustworthy person who is direct, knows what they want, goes after it, and once they find it cherishes it instead of admires it like the newest toy or GQ magazine as a flavor of the month with no respect or acceptance just judging a book only by its cover until they find a new one. Until I find the “one” I believe having respect for myself and looking for someone that is worth my respect will continue and one day….I am sure I will find yes, a true Prince Charming, because I do believe there is a man out there not afraid to be truly human.

  • Especially enlightening, look onward to returning

  • Damned says:

    Sigh….I feel I must address a few things, even though I’m year late and too old for these demographics, it’s still an issue I know sadly well…dating in the Bay Area.
    Someone else will read invariably read this like I did and get more discouraged as most of us already are.

    Firstly I grew up in SF since 1971 and have seen it change DRAMATICALLY just in the last 15 years…really, 10. Scarily so.
    So up until these years the ratio was tilted more against women and this area was known to many women as being
    extremely hard to date in and find love. A hook up yes, a fuck buddy sure, a gay boyfriend/pal why not, but love and a healthy relationship, meh…perhaps if you’re ok with a dysfunctional, man-boy still smoking pot and wearing skate shoes or a halfway professional man who is really depressed but acts ok when he needs to and wants to ‘keep it open’ so we can fuck but not have a meaningful relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I used to skate too…it’s an awesome sport/hobby, but we’re getting older so eventually growing up is inevitable and not so bad actually.
    It’s very attractive to be truthful. I fought it for awhile but eventually it kicked my ass and I grew up. (gen x, we grow slow). The guys I ‘hung’ out with were like, (think Beevis/Butthead), ‘wanna hang out…uh-uh…’…. Sigh. The other choice was jocks who treated people in general like pawns in their own chess game. I was just boobs to them, otherwise not a viable option with my mohawk or weird shoes.
    I have lots of friends here too, nice people but not the healthiest I’ve known and it’s a by-product of a hedonistic, indulgent self-absorbed culture that refuses to consider another way of existing, doggedly!
    (hold on before you feel I’m attacking only men, I haven’t gotten to the female part yet)

    This ‘surplus’ of hetero men is a recent thing. TRUST ME. And most of them, are younger than me so they wouldn’t notice me unless
    I had a sandwich board over me declaring free bandwidth or something…( I dunno not a techy). That leads me to the second reason:
    modern men are SPOILED. Yes spoiled by easy women. Doh! I went there. Between having grown up on porn, pop culture/shallow social media culture and the fucking fallout of the sex liberation movement that promoted promiscuity to women and men, young men today more often than not choose skinny gorgeous women or easy women over the rest of us. The rest of us are not bad looking whatsoever but if we’re not young, skinny, easy, breezy and beautiful we don’t get noticed. Sorry but that’s true!

    As for women, I don’t date women but I can imagine they have changed too. I can imagine some of them are spoiled and fussy and silly in what they prefer them being liberated and all, and act similarly as a result of the same programming; They’ve been influenced by the same hoard of BS that men have been like FB/Social media stupidity, pop and porn culture.

    We’ve all been sold a bill of goods over the last 40+ years since the ‘free’ (but costs you your dignity and need for intimacy) love culture post sexual revolution. Since then love became a joke, relationships & marriage a hazard to avoid and monogamy a drinking game to laugh at. So finding love in this area, a healthy relationship no less, became nearly impossible. I know, I’m one of it’s casualties and I know many more.

    One woman said above that she’s never been asked out on a date. Doesn’t surprise me. (sorry sister!) I have a few times and I balked because I was so used to casual hookup culture I thought dating was weird. MOth@#$ what the hell was wrong with me?#???
    It’s true though, I have rarely been on a real date in my life because of the company I kept. I was part of the counter culture, artsy, punk/hippie, geeky/intellectual, party generation so naturally the pool was a bit more dirty where I swam and only now can I say this without feeling like an asshole about it. No offense folks…but it’s true! I’m sure I wasn’t a catch either back then, a great lay, a fun party gal and confidant but not a serious catch because I too bought into the stupid socially liberal hookup culture which in the end, ripped us all off of the ability to have healthy intimate relationships that we STICK out with the other person.

    Women here having also been brainwashed by this idea that monogamy was bad and spreading our ‘love’ was a sign of liberation, bless our poor wretched hearts, many of us fell into a pattern of shallow hookups that sufficed for a love life, sprinkled with intermittent dating and short ‘relationships’. 20+ years later many of us discouraged and turned off by dating or men in general not because we don’t want love and not because we hate men, but because of the kinds of men we’ve met and the kinds of interactions we’ve had, we’re discouraged.
    This is not a sexist rant, but a declaration of exasperation!

    I want nothing more than a healthy loving relationship with a DEEP THOUGHTFUL INTELLECTUAL MAN who can complete sentences and still listen to me when I talk, has ambitions but is not a selfish asshole, does not smoke pot or hang out in bars or use porn because he realizes the inherent failure of an industry that exists purely to help one human consume another at the expense of our dignity and pocketbook. A man who is multi-cultural but not arrogant or egocentric about any culture. Open-minded but not in a flaccid spined liberal kind of way who is ok with any and everything. Open yet committed with strong values and a strong spine, a vibrant brain and a healthy penis all in one. Healthy looking but doesn’t have to be glamorous, in fact don’t be.
    I know, too much to ask.

    Peace.

    😛 I’ve thought about moving but I own a house and my parents are here. I just hope there’s time to meet people and not when we’re all old and wrinkly with saggy genitals.

  • Wen says:

    These demographics are hilarious and sad at the same time. That’s it! I am going to start packing from NYC to SF…haha.

  • Samantha says:

    But isn’t the reason there are so many more single men because most of them are gay?

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  • Where else do people move around a field making pretty patterns
    that they read from little “X’s” in a book while playing intense music and never looking at
    the ground. You can also play with the tempo–counteracting fast and slow throughout
    the song or music. SXSW is a great festival to meet thousands of music industry professionals and other musicians.

  • Nathan says:

    Woe is me.

    I moved from the Bay Area to San Diego. Needless to say my dating life has not improved.

    God I don’t even know where I should move to? It just seems like there are too many men everywhere.

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