For the past half-dozen years I’ve been fighting an easily-mapped battle about the shortage of eligible bachelors in New York City. Straight, single women claim there’s no men, I wave around some data saying otherwise, and then we all have a fun time figuring out where the guys are hiding. My singles map gets updated every single year, and every time it’s the exact same result: you complaining ladies must be crazy.
Gawker covered it. Glamour talked about it. My refutation of every single New York woman’s experience was such a Thing that I was in Elle magazine about it.
Except, of course, I was completely (kind of) wrong. While there might be more single men in NYC than single women, they aren’t who you think.
Take a look at this map about what life is really like as a single person in NYC – it’s singles organized by age and zip code. We’ll talk more after you take a peek.
Note: I’m mostly talking about singles in their twenties and early thirties below. If you’d like the scoop on why young singles are men and old singles are women, check out my original map.
Note #2: This data is from the Census Bureau’s American Community Survey, Table B12002. According to the Census Bureau, “single” is everyone who isn’t currently married, and it completely ignores sexuality, so this is far from an exact science!
Okay, friends, time for a heart-to-heart. My original map showed the Northeast as something that looked like this:
Singles aged 20-34 in the Northeast, from my original singles map
The bigger those blue circles, the more “extra” men in any given metropolitan area. Looks like it’s dudes all the way down, right? And it is, kind of.
My original map (and others like it) were collected at the area of a Metropolitan Statistical Area (MSA), a grouping used by the Census Bureau to put cities and their immediate, tight-knit suburbs together. Since these areas are basically married, it makes sense to treat them as a single statistical area, right? The ones that include NYC also claim some New Jersey, maybe a little Pennsylvania, Long Island, etc.
In each of these MSAs, there are absolutely more young, single men than young, single women. This is true across America, almost without exception (single women outnumber men in maybe a half-dozen cities). Extra single men was a clear trend everywhere, so there was no reason to look closer, right?
Fast forward to seven years later: earlier this month I was asked to give a pre-Valentines Day talk about my depressing singles map at GeoNYC, a super cool group of mapping folks. Since they were all New Yorkers, I thought, why not break the singles down by ZIP code and give them a little something more to chew on?
I think the correct phrase for this situation is “and you won’t believe what happened next.”
Singles ratios in Manhattan, 20-34
See all that pink? That’s more single women. The tiny, fleeting pieces of blue are majority single men. Single women are dominating Manhattan. East Village? Women. West Village? Women. Upper East? Women. Upper West? Women.
Women, women, everywhere, and not a man to date!
Men have a couple holdouts, with the blue chunk on the left and the one at the bottom. The one on the left is Hell’s Kitchen – commenter Steve wrote in to say “in the past few years it has become a hub of the gay community which is why it’s all young single guys. It’s what Chelsea once was.” As for the one on the bottom, I spend a lot of time down under that side of the Manhattan bridge, and while it looks like the Lower East Side I can tell you this: all of those single men are living in Chinatown.
Let’s hop across the East River for a moment – in the 20-34 range up above, Williamsburg has a few more men and Greenpoint has a few more ladies, but if we adjust down to 20-29 the picture changes a wee bit.
Singles in Williamsburg, Greenpoint, and Lower Manhattan, 20-29
Greenpoint and Williamsburg are lady central! Hip, single, straight, female twentysomethings: you are doomed. I’ll leave Bushwick as an exercise to the reader.
Going back to the Chinatown-makes-Lower-Manhattan-blue observation, let’s examine the Outer Boroughs to see if we can find a trend…
Singles in Brooklyn and Queens, 20-34
The male-heavy areas have a very clear theme: ① is Jackson Heights, where you have a large number of South Asian immigrants (and NYC’s oldest gay community). ② is Flushing (a.k.a. Queens Chinatown), ③ is Brooklyn Chinatown and ④, if you’ll allow me a large degree of geographic wiggle room, is Brighton Beach, with a large number of immigrants from Russia (and others).
Brownstone Brooklyn, the closest my borough has to a Manhattan, is ⑤, sporting about 20% more women than men.
As far as I can tell, New York City as a whole only has more single men than single women because of immigrant communities. Apologies, single ladies of Manhattan, but East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet.
I haven’t talked about ⑥ yet, the strongest outpost for single women in almost the entire map: Brownsville. The trend spreads out to Bed Stuy and East New York, and continues down through Flatbush and other predominantly African-American areas of Brooklyn. While I could take wild guesses at causation, I’ll leave that up to people with more knowledge of socioeconomic realities. Definitely worth a look, though.
Other things I don’t know about include the Bronx and Staten Island. The Bronx has a ton of single women, while Staten Island is roughly nothing but men. Can we set them up, please?
The Bronx and Staten Island, sitting in a tree
Here’s what I do know: if you Manhattan ladies are willing to pack up your U-Haul, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. I’ll have some good news (and another map or two) for you tomorrow – hop on our newsletter to be sure you don’t miss it!
If you just can’t wait, here’s a sneak preview: our arch-nemesis Silicon Valley is looking blue as the sky.
Preview: in Silicon Valley the streets are paved with bros
THE UPDATE IS UP: The San Francisco Bay Area, where the streets are paved with men
Hi! The blue on the left is Hell’s Kitchen where I live and in the past few years it has become a hub of the gay community which is why it’s all young single guys. It’s what Chelsea once was.
Thanks a bunch, I’ve updated the post!
This is one of the most mean-spirited pieces of stuff I have ever read. Even if the statistics are true, the way you present them seems like you really hate women and want us to feel bad. The article is cruelly search-engine baited as being about where to MEET men. Must feel so great being a youngish guy. You win.
so true. i don’t like that I found it while trying to adjust to being a cool woman in my native city after breakup
Thanks for posting this dispiriting map. I am the mother of a young single woman in the city. However, if you were to include men and women of all ages (and I hope you so at some point), the map would probably skew even more heavily female, particularly in Staten Island. A lot of the young men there are probably living with their parents. Thanks for this fascinating website!
You can use the sliders on the top of the interactive map to adjust up to age 65 – I have another three age brackets in hiding (65-74, 74-85, and 85+) that I’ll probably include at some point!
What about getting over the status obsession that drives many women to move to NYC in the first place, and encouraging them to date dudes from NJ. I live in Linden, NJ, and always get written off (mostly online) because of where I live – even though it affords tons more savings, and there is plenty of wonderful places to go and see things here across the Hudson River. May it be, that just maybe, women in NYC have unrealistic standards and won’t date really awesome guys, simply due to a misperception of value or character due to connotations with a location, albeit how reasonably it takes the same time to get there as a Williamsburg or Park Slope. Sad. So just very sad. I imagine, I’ll have to simply move to Europe to find someone willing settle down one day.
Agreed. This is actually Hypergamy map. The pink areas coincide very closely with where men with money are more likely to be. And yes the women are not chasing the immigrants, they are chasing the established guys with Wall Street jobs. The only exception would be Brownsville and everyone knows the reason there are more women than men there is because the men have a higher likelihood of going to prison or simply dying at a young age.
It’s common for women to go to NY in their 20s, act like they are in “Sex in The City” and then complain in their mid to late 30s how there are no good men in NY. These women have hit the wall and now Men are “bad” simply because they can’t find any to commit when it’s most convenient for these women to want relationship (right before they become completely unattractive).
Duh! Why would a guy invest in you now after you’ve wasted your youth rejecting decent guys and chasing after wall street millionaires? Men aren’t stupid but apparently women think they are.
Is this an assumption or pure fact?
Educated and ballsy non PC assumption based on observation, basic common sense, and some study of the subject matter.
Well said Dave. You speak nothing but the truth. Single women in NYC aren’t interested in men, they’re interested in finding whales that will provide for them. Issue is that Wall Street millionaires aren’t dumb enough to allow that. Most women in their 20s and 30s are so delusional that they don’t realize that these guys can sleep with a different 21 year old model every week for the rest of their lives.
Tell the truth. Yes. Thank you!
I would just like to say something in response to the guy below Dave who talks about the 21 models. Not all millionaires are interested in sleeping with 21 year old models. There are those who go deeper than that and seek personality in a woman, confidence etc.
I know that for a fact because I had a very, very wealthy man courting me for years and although I am very attractive, I am not a model. My point is that not all millionaires want to be with models and thank god for those of us with a solid education on our shoulders for that’s how we beat those dumb 21 year old models!
Dave is correct, there are plenty of Hypergamy studies on this.
The women wasted their early years away.
The only thing I can add is that they can’t help it. The social norms, pressures, and cultures that greatly held this back are all gone.
Today, women feel free to run as wild as they can under the auspices of “I don’t need a man” “I’m powerful” “I’m independant” “Women are now” and all the rest of that destructive thinking.
And even when they’re not chasing the wall street types, they’re intentionally sexing down with bad men that treat them poorly.
They got what they deserved when they’re older, or at least got what karma hoists.
You can date me. I’m looking and open to out of towners. 28 single teacher.
Response: GISELLE BROOMUD APRIL 4, 2017 AT 6:06 PM I didn’t read you comment but I loved the ending! beat those dumb 21 year old models! That is what I do too.
oh, fuck off. maybe women tried to make something work with a poor guy and he wasn’t an emotional genius or even loyal.
what? why are you focusing on New Yorkers? nothing about locals here, do you have some status obsession? jeez.
Thank your for these insights. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m assuming these numbers don’t account for the countless nonresidents in NYC, because it’s based on residency data from the Census, right?
Specifically I’d be interested in the college student populations, who would be a huge factor in the 20-30 dating scene in the city, but who don’t necessarily have New York as their legal address.
Of course the colleges might not change the basic gender imbalance, since the majority of college students are women on almost all US campuses.
What a joke. Women are disgusting. I go on dating sites and as soon as they find out I live in Queens the conversation ends. I asked another girl and she said it has to do with money. If you live in Queens you must not have enough of it. Basically these women are nothing but prostitutes.
I don’t really think that’s true. You might want to evaluate the type of girls that you go for.
I love New york City.
and love this picture.
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If you look at those under 40, never married, the gender gap is zero.
The “lack of eligible single men” is a myth, fueled by the fundamental nature of NYC for those under 40- namely lots of people who don’t really want (or unwilling to put in the effort for, or don’t have the time for) a relationship.
ps. I’m an actuary, so I know my numbers. And yes, I’m also one of this single men who apparently are so hard to find.
Great Job! I think there is something you can improve. You didn’t take into account the age difference at marriage between men and women Which is around 3 to 5 years. So if you are trying to pair marriage minded men and marriage minded women, you should consider their age difference.
If you are willing to do this again I will consider 25-39 for women and 30-44 for men (both cases we are talking a 15 age range each). I did this by hand using your app (writing down the data from the Map). Using most of the zip codes in Manhattan, 70% of Brooklyn (closest to Manhattan) and the Zip Codes of Queens closer to the East River a got a 1.5 Female/Men Ratio!!! Even worst than your second map!
So yes, women in NY have a real reason to be depressed!!!
Have you run this map for other cities like D.C. and Philadelphia? Would love to see the results.
Oh ok, so if those single men live in Chinatown or immigrant communities, suddenly we don’t even want to talk about why the single women aren’t dating them?
OH. OK.
thank you.
“As far as I can tell, New York City as a whole only has more single men than single women because of immigrant communities. Apologies, single ladies of Manhattan, but East is East and West is West and never the twain shall meet.”
I’m sorry, are you saying that men from immigrant communities aren’t datable?
He’s probably not saying immigrants aren’t datable, but he’s probably saying women don’t think they are. And let’s face it, he’s probably be right.
I just came home from new years coney island and approached 2 groups large women and was both women 20s-30s rejected atleast blondes spoke with me
One group were American women and I asked did I could join there party brunette right away said no
I politely walked away from them
Blonde group was foreigners on group all spoke European type.. languages like German , Slavic
I will admit I was dressed bad
very interesting !
next step could be to break down the number by level of education….(at least…), that would maybe show that the future of single ladies in the “mixed” collar Dating??
Well unless I am reading this incorrectly, I think this is awesome! I am a female early 40s (a very young early 40s mind you) and moving in to the city for work. If I read this correctly the 40+ age range is all blue In midtown east, west and further south???!!!
Yes? No?
Dear Sir/Madam,
I live in Cameroon. I want to live in New York.Please could you help me to realize my dream?
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I’d love to find single Asian women. Do you know of any group meetings, lounges, or clubs in NYC or Westchester?
Yet even with so many single ladies most bars and clubs in NYC are sausage fests. How does one explain that?
Dating Apps. It requires much less effort to get a date on app, why would she go to a bar and hope for some random block, when she can go and find her seemingly “price charming”. Sure , he will probably be a player, but for a month or two it will seem perfect. We been conditioned by apps to expect pay off with no effort, specifically true for woman. It seems normal, go on app, 1000 matches… For guys it opposite, so guys go a lot more to bars to even out the chances. Of-course if there is less women in bars, as they dont need to go out and meet the “old way” means there is disproportionately high level of guys in bars. And it will continue to stay like that, as apps are too easy not to do.
Unlike online dating, where both parties needed to put effort (write, communicate, etc). App makes sure that guys who know how to show themselves best (aka probably players), will get the lion share of dates.
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